Sometimes in life we don’t know which way to turn next.. and that’s when all the magic happens. Allow Sahara Rose to move you through times where you feel stuck so your highest self can deliver you the message of what to do next.
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Episode 189 – What To Do If You Feel Stuck With Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose
Namaste. My name is Sahara Rose and welcome back to the “Highest Self” podcast. A place where we discuss what makes you your soul’s highest evolvement. And before we get started, check out these brands that make “Highest Self” podcast possible.
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Today I wanted to chat briefly just about the concept of not knowing what to do next. I feel like a lot of us we’re in positions that, you know, everything’s okay, but we know that they could be better. So this could be, for example, you’re in a job that, you know, your colleagues are cool, everything’s fine, but it’s definitely not your life’s work. I mean it’s definitely not what you were put on this planet to do, if you were even put on this planet to do anything, but you’re not sure what step to take next.
How many of you have felt that way before? Anyone? Just me? Okay. So I know for me when I was especially in my early 20s, I knew that I didn’t want to work a conventional job. I knew that I did not want to be an international human rights lawyer, which is what I went to school to do. I knew that I liked healthy recipes, I liked blogging, which I was doing, I liked social media, I liked these things, but I didn’t really know how to make a job out of it, I mean it felt so far away.
So I spent a lot of time, I mean years, just stressing, stressing about what to do next. Like I was just waiting for the messiah to come down and be like, “Okay, this is the action plan.” And I would ask everyone I would meet, “So, what do you think I should do with my life, you know, any suggestions?” I would ask my journal, I would ask anything, but I wasn’t really asking myself. Why? Well, because I didn’t really trust myself, because one minute I wanted to have a skincare line, then the other minute I wanted to go back to school and get my Masters, another minute I wanted to fully dive into just health coaching, another minute I wanted to just work on my clothing line—Saraswati Couture. I had a lot of different passions, and my hands in a lot of jars, and it wasn’t until I discovered Ayurveda and it helps me so much with my own health problems that naturally I just felt such a strong desire of sharing it that that desire just kind of over-triumphed all of the other things that I was just sort of mentally debating.
So a lot of us we’re questioning what is the next step to take? But we’re sitting complacently, where we’re thinking that that desire is just going to take over us, but it can only take over us when we take action, you know. You’re never going to know if a job is that right for you if you don’t actually try it. You could spend a lot of mental time imagining, and that could help you, I mean I could imagine being an accountant, and I don’t want to do that. But there are some things, like if you’re kind of torn in between several options, embody it, try it out, and even in that trying out, and trying out may look like actually starting a career in it. But only in that dance can you realize that this is not the dance that I want to do.
So for an example, when I was confused about what step to take next, I started to take action, I would make my own skincare products at home with coconut oil and essential oils, and I made the branding on my computer, and I would print it out, I literally did it all from scratch from my house with products I would order online. And then when I wanted to fully dive into my clothing line, I would sign up for every festival, get a table, split the table with different vendors. I even vended on the Venice Beach Boardwalk, like I would go out there and hassle, and then I realized that was for sure not what I wanted to do.
But before that, having a clothing line seemed very glamorous to me, having a skincare line seemed very glamorous to me. But only until I was doing it I realized that I’m just not the merchant type, I don’t actually like selling products, I don’t actually like being involved in the business. I like sharing the message, I like to inspire people, I like to speak to people, and uplift them, and that’s just what my archetype is, but I couldn’t figure that out if I hadn’t stepped into it.
So if you are at a point in your life right now that you’re confused about what is the next step to take, jot down, well what are the things right now that feel exciting for you? What are the things that, you know, if you could just do anything—I’m not saying, “I’d be the president.” I mean, you could say that, but something that is feeing a little bit more feasible for you that this is something you could actually really step into in the next couple years.
Write those things down, and then from there, write down, okay, what would the action steps be to get there, and I like to work backwards. So let’s say it’s have a skincare line that sold at Sephora with essential oils and all-natural products—okay, beautiful goal. Now how to get to Sephora? Well, first, it probably would need to be in smaller shops. Okay, how to get to smaller shops? Well, first, I probably need to get into a farmer’s market. Okay, well how do I get into a farmer’s market? Well, there’s an application online. Well what do I need? I need the product. So how can I make the product? Okay, let me look at manufacturer’s. Okay, well I don’t have the money for a manufacturer, so how can I make it at home? Okay, here’s how I can make it at home.
Do you see how I just went backwards all the way from Sephora to making it at home? So you could reverse engineer anything. And I recommend doing it with several different options, several different paths that you could see yourself taking. And they could be very, very different paths. I mean, your path to be the president, okay, before that I want to be in Senate, and I before that I want… I want to go to law school, and before that, okay I need to pass my LSATs, and before that, okay, I need to study for the LSATs. You know, it could be even that.
But write these down, and when you’re able to see the action steps, you’re able to see what it actually looks like to embody it. I mean if you’re not willing to do the first step, like if you don’t want to study for that LSAT, but your goal is to be a president who has a law degree, then that’s not the right path for you. So things can look glamorous on the other side, but really, when you’re in any kind of position, what’s going to matter is your day-to-day, and that journey to get there is really going to be what you experience, it’s not about the destination.
We take a quick break from this episode so I can share with you an amazing opportunity. Are you interested in having a career focused on health and wellness? Well if so, then the universe is calling you to become a holistic health coach. I am offering this incredible deal, a discount of $1,500 off my alma mater, Institute for Integrative Nutrition, which is the world’s largest nutrition school with guest teachers such as Deepak Chopra, Kris Carr, Dr. Hyman, and Dr. Andrew Weil, and so many others. It is split between six months of health coaching programs, teaching you hundreds of nutritional theories, including Ayurveda, as well as six months of business coaching.
And, as an additional bonus, I am offering a webinar where I will teach you how to use social media to create a thriving career as a health coach. On top of that, I have created a private Facebook community just for the “Highest Self” podcast listeners who are becoming health coaches to connect with each other, meet up with each other, and support one another on this journey. So if you’re interested, send an email over to sahara, S-A-H-A-R-A-, @eatfeelfresh.com with subject “IIN.” Again, firstname.lastname@example.org with subject “IIN.” And I will personally send you back the email that will allow you to get a $1,500 off discount, as well as my business coaching webinar, and the private Facebook group. I’m so excited for you to begin your journey as a health coach.
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So what are the things that you actually like to spend your time doing? Not just you want to be that thing at the end, but how would you want to spend your every day? Do you like to work one-on-one with people? Do you like to work in groups? Do you want to be spelling something that you thought of? Or do you want to be selling something that you made? Or maybe you don’t want to be selling something at all. Do you want to be healing people? Do you want to be motivating people? Do you want to be inspiring people? Do you want to be educating people? Do you not want to be around people? All of that is okay.
So if you don’t know what step to take, don’t look at the enormous mountain and get overwhelmed that it feels so far away, I have no idea how I’m going to make it to the top. But hang out, you know, on the ground for a bit and see, okay, well there’s all these different paths, so what path feels good for me? Do I want to take the black diamond? Do I want to go on the blue? Do I want to go on the bunny hill? What do I feel like doing?
And the beautiful thing is all paths lead to dharma. No matter what path you take, whether it’s starting being a waitress to pay your bills so you’re able to spend your days taking acting classes. Or whether it’s moving back home to save money so you can write your book, which is what I did. Or whether it’s taking out a loan from a bank so you can start that restaurant you’ve always wanted to. Whatever it is, maybe that restaurant fails, maybe the book never gets finished. Whatever it is, it’s still going to take you towards your dharma, and your dharma is your divine purpose, it is the big reason why you are here, and it’s the topic that this podcast, and really my whole life, is all about you living your dharma, your highest self, your divine purpose.
Now the reason that all paths lead there is because sometimes you have to step into different positions, different careers, that may not be where you’re going to end up. But they served a purpose, and that purpose is to teach you whatever lessons that that experience gave you because it prepared you for what came next. So maybe you waitressing, and you know, being really fed up with it at times taught you patience. It taught you to move quick, it taught you to read people, it taught you to be hospitable. And then finally when you got that movie deal, you had all of those things under your belt, and you could deal with the director, and the producer, and the other actors because of the skills you learned as a waitress.
Or maybe you moved back home to write this book that you’re so passionate about, and upon writing and writing this book you realize you don’t actually like writing books. You like coaching people, you don’t want to be alone, isolated, just writing all the time in all your thoughts. You want to be interacting with people, so you needed that experience to teach you what it is that you really valued.
Guys, no one makes it on their first try. No one is born with a basketball an just goes straight into a slam dunk. That’s not what happens. We first learn how to hold the ball, and we kind of flow around, oh wow, big ball, and we learn how to dribble, we learn how to pass, we learn how to play a part of a team, we learn how to alley-oop—basketball lingo—and then finally you learn how to slam dunk. And they may have multiple slam dunks in your life, you may have multiple things that had a beautiful reign, and then eventually it was over.
Guys, we don’t live in the paradigm anymore that you have one career and that’s it. In the new paradigm that we are experiencing, we can have multiple careers going on at the same time. You know, the old paradigm was like, “Okay, I’m a dentist. My whole life is just going to be looking at teeth. That’s it for me, just molars.” Or, “I’m a lawyer, just papers.” “I’m an accountant, just numbers.” It’s not like that anymore. I mean in professions like that, the paradigm of how they’re structured is still kind of focused like that, but now there are people who are dentists, but adding their holistic view, and bringing in workshops, and educational classes, and all sorts of things. And maybe they’re spending their free time rock climbing, and doing all sorts of different hobbies. There are people who are literally thriving in different businesses that are totally unrelated at the same time.
Personally, I do this podcast, which is one you know, massive part of my life, but I write books, and that’s a totally different thing, and I do social media stuff, which is a totally different thing. And I have so many different other ventures that I work on, you know, my deck that’s coming out, this, that, they’re all so different, but they’re all true to my heart. Could I have ever predicted any of this? No. Did I know it first shot? No. Do I even know where I’m going to be five years from now? No. But all I know is that I’m following what feels exciting and expansive for me right now.
So if you don’t know what that even feels like, just what does the feeling of expansion feel like in your body? And for me, that is like my driving force, that is my key word. So what does feeling expansive feel like in your body? You know, most of us we immediately just drop our shoulders—I know I did. You unclench your jaw, maybe you look upwards, your stretch your arms out, expansive, you’re reaching. So to me, this is the feeling of how I like to live my life. That I’m always stretching out, I’m always reaching out, I’m always becoming something greater than I am.
It’s the opposite of the feeling of being in an airplane. Like when you’re stuck on a long international flight, and you literally are like, “Oh my God, please just give me one extra inch. I will do anything. Oh my God, why are you still sleeping? I can’t eat, the tray is like on my belly button.” It’s the opposite of that feeling. That is constricted, that is stuck, that is being forced to sit in place, that is the opposite of how I want to feel in my life. I want to feel like a back bend, I want to feel like a massive heart-opener. I want to feel like I’m reaching, and lengthening, and becoming a greater version of me every single day.
And that may not be how you want to feel, but I think that most of us have some sort of longing that wants to expand and grow. I think actually all of us do. And when you’re expansive, you aren’t questioning, “Oh, is this right, is this wrong? You’re just reaching out and feeling what feels good, feeling what feels like, ah, an opening.” So if you’re confused what path to take, what feels expansive, and what feels constricting.
You know, I remember when I was 23 and not sure should I write this book on Ayurveda or should I become a real estate agent, because that’s what my parents kept telling me to do, and I didn’t know, you know. They kept telling me, “It’s so hard to make money, you’re never going to make money as a book, you’re going to be a starving artist, you’re going to end up homeless, no one’s going to read your stuff. We’re going to be so angry with you if you write this book, we’re going to disown you,” like it was really that bad.
So in my head I’m like, “Oh my God, I really want to write this book, but I don’t want to risk being homeless and being disowned, so maybe I should, you know, become a real estate agent.” And not that being a real estate agent is bad, but it wasn’t the right choice for me. I mean, I’m the worst with numbers, and like don’t believe in staying in one place I’d be the worst at selling a house.
But every time I would try to even study for the real estate exam, I would feel so constricted. I felt like stuck, I felt like I was giving up on myself. I felt like I was doing it to satisfy the man, and it wasn’t my truth. I felt like, “Oh my God, is this really what I went to school and did all of these beautiful experiences for to do this?” I felt like I was selling myself short.
Personally, it wasn’t my path, but every time I thought about writing this book it felt expansive, it felt like imagine if, it felt like my best daydream ever to be a published author, like just that thought. I mean if I could be in any happy place, it would be that, just having my book in a Barnes & Noble, like that was the ultimate feeling for me, and is something I still pinch myself about every single day. But it was a very scary path, it was a path of not even know if I’d get there. It’s like pretty much going through the Amazon with a machete in hand not knowing if you’ll ever make it through the other side, but it felt expansive.
Expansive can be hand in hand with scary—in fact, most of the time it is. You know, your first time going into a back bend was scary. Your first time doing anything new that expanded you was scary. So don’t feel like, “Well, I need to feel totally secure, and totally balanced, and totally peaceful and calm at all times.” Because while you’re expanding and while you’re stretching—especially at the beginning when you hadn’t done it before, like you know when you’re sleeping at night, and you wake up in the morning, and you finally stretch out your arms and everything is like an old haunted house with like cobwebs. You’re like… (imitating cracking) Maybe that’s just me, but it could feel like that, and I mean that’s just one night of not expanding and stretching.
Most of us have spent a year, years, lifetimes, not expanding ourselves, you know, and that could lead to a lot of stiff joints, a lot of stiff thoughts, a lot of stiff fears that have been there for so long, and it’s going to take a lot of stretching to get them out. But you can still get them out because the body was not designed to be stiff, and neither was your life. You are not designed to be a robot, to fit into a box, to fit into any kind of social, constructual mold. You are not Jell-O, bitch. You are meant to be free, you are water, you are fluidity, you are a golden milk chai latte.
Okay, so you can be whatever flavor you want in this life, but the only way to create your own flavor is to try different ones. Mm… that tasted good. Mm… that was not for me. I like the peanut butter, don’t like the Rocky Road. Mm, not sure about the mint chip. That’s the only way to learn. So if you’re feeling stuck, you’re feeling confused, take action on what feels tangible, what is the first thing I can do, reverse engineer, go from there.
What is that baby step that I can take? Is it signing up for a school—like IIN? Is it opening up my website? Maybe you already have the business and you’re just afraid of putting yourself out there. I had a client who was on one of my programs before and she had this whole line of Ayurvedic supplements that she started, and she came to my event, and she’s like, “I don’t’ know what to do.” She later told me she had this line of Ayurvedic supplements. I’m like, “What do you mean you don’t know what to do?” She’s like, “Oh, well I don’t know, I feel like I need to go to another course.” I’m like, “Okay, if your website is not published and live by tonight, I’m gonna block you on Instagram,” like literally I said that to her.
And she was like, “Oh my God, but I can’t, I don’t know if I’m ready,” and she was totally ready. She had the website made, everything made, but it was her own fear of being seen, of pressing “publish.” You know, how many of us are afraid of pressing “publish” on our lives? Think about that. How many of you are so gifted you give the best advice to your friends, you’re a beautiful healer, you have incredible gifts that you share with just the people close to you, but something within you is afraid of pressing “publish” on your life. You’re afraid of letting other people in, you’re afraid of being judged, of failing, of people not paying attention.
But do you know the only way that people won’t pay attention? Do you know the only way you’ll fail? If you never press “publish.” So press “publish” literally, figuratively, take action, follow what feels expansive, do that baby step that could just take you an inch further. Because that step is gonna show the universe that, yes, I’m ready for this. And when the universe sees you’re taking action towards your dharma, it propels you in that direction. And before you know it, you’re going to see if that thing was right for you or wrong for you, and everything is going to have its growing pains at the beginning.
So I don’t want you to quit the moment that it feels hard. You know, when I had my clothing line and I was going to all these festivals, and vending, and sometimes I’d make good money, and sometimes I would lose money, and it’s a hard—if anyone vends at festivals, or has a small business selling things, it was really hard. And I would do it with one of my best friends, Kieran, and she was going through the same things with me, but for her she felt really expansive doing it, and that’s what made me realize that it wasn’t for me. And she stuck with it, and she kept growing, and now she has this incredible clothing line called Woven Threads made of recycled water bottles with sacred geometry that she hand-paints. She’s so inspiring, and it went to show that it’s not about the job that, “Oh, this is a good job or a bad job,” it’s just about whether it’s the right fit for you.
And I wouldn’t have never known that I’m not the merchant kind of person unless I had tried that and had really given it my all. So give it a go, you know, that’s why internships are, you know, the new college. Now a lot of colleges are switching to internship-based businesses because the best way you can know what you want to do with your life is not reading it in a textbook, it’s getting in that office and giving it a try.
So if you can shadow someone, shadow them. If you feel like you know it is what it is that you need to do, just go for it, and it can be really, really small and really, really simple, and that’s where the beauty is, that’s where you build your story. Because when you’re able to say, “I started from scratch. I started from my living room floor. I started with all the money I had in my bank account, and I gave it all for this.” And when you make it big, and you tell people that story, that is when they’re truly going to connect with you.
So if you’re listening right now, I think you know what you need to do next. So I want you, before you go off to the next thing, the next podcast, the next whatever, just take action, it’s going to lead you so far beyond what that action is simply by taking it.
I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you loved it, I would love if you could leave me a review in the iTunes store. And as a free gift, I will share with you the first half of my unreleased book, “Eat Right For Your Mind Body Type.” Simply email a screenshot of your review over to email@example.com-- again, S-A-H-A-R-A@eatfeelfresh.com-- and I will send you over the first half of my unreleased book, “Eat Right For Your Mind Body Type.” Thank you and Namaste.
Episode 189 – What To Do If You Feel Stuck With Sahara Rose