We are living in a time where we have more, but are often less happy than ever before. What is the deal? In this episode I share the one thing that’s holding you back from the bliss that you truly are.
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Episode 233 – The One Thing That’s Holding You Back From Happiness with Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose
Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose, and welcome back to the “Highest Self” podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul’s highest evolvement.
What’s your dosha? Well if you want to find out, I invite you to take my quick little quiz over on iamsahararose.com, and in a couple questions, I will let you know the exact percentages of the doshas in your mind and in your body and email you a free three-day mini course on how to include Ayurveda into your modern lifestyle. So head over to my website, iamsahararose.com, to discover your dosha today.
So the other day I was walking with my friend, and we were just having a conversation about, you know, our lives, what we’re working through, et cetera. And I told her the difference between me and you is that I just throw myself into things without even fully thinking through how am I going to handle it, et cetera, and you’re thinking about it so much, which is preventing you from doing it. And she’s like, “You’re exactly right.”
And it got me thinking of how oftentimes we have, you know, incredible ideas, insights, projects that we want to fulfill, but we are thinking about all of the work it’s going to entail, or all of the responsibilities, or the downfalls of it. To the point that we don’t actually do it. And how this is the biggest detriment that I see is happening, especially to conscious women.
Now why conscious women especially? Well, because we are the people who are extremely self-aware. We are the people who are analyzing ourselves all the time, who are foreseeing future events, who you know, conscious, what does that mean—to be aware. But it’s hurting us at this point that we’re becoming so hyper aware of all of the perceived negativities that we overlook the support that we’re going to receive from the universe along the way.
So, for example, let’s say I wanted to write a book, and the whole time, you know, I have this idea for a book, but every time I begin writing, I’m like, “You know what? It’s going to be so much work. I have other things to do. How am I even going to have the book deal? No one’s even going to buy it if I self-publish it. I don’t even know the first thing about marketing. How is this book gonna even work out?” And there we were, full of the creativity, and insight, and wisdom to write this book, but then suddenly we pushed ourselves away from this experience of writing because we’ve allowed our fear-based thinking to overcome it.
So, a lot of times, we are living in alignment with our dharma, but purposely, the fear of stepping into that, the fear of expanding your energy field to the energy that is necessary for you to live your dharma overcomes it. So imagine if you are a mermaid swimming in the ocean, but instead of swimming freely and doing backflips, you just think about how there are nets., and what if you swim into a net, and that would be really scary, and a fisherman could catch you, so I’m just going to stay exactly where I am and not swim anymore.
You know, why would a mermaid do that? A mermaid is here to have fun, and play, and enjoy. But if she’s too preoccupied with the nets, she’s not going to do that. Obviously giving mermaid analogies, but think about that in everything you do in life. Are you more preoccupied with the potentials or the potential doubts?
So a lot of people ask me all the time how do you do so much? How do you create so much? You have now I’ve written four books, almost done with my fourth book, “Eat Right For Your Mind Body Type,” “Idiot’s Guide to Ayurveda,” “Eat Feel Fresh,” now “Discover Your Dharma.” I created my deck “A Yogic Path,” Rose Gold Goddesses community, “Highest Self” podcast twice a week, and speaking all over the place, and social media, and just my hands on many different spinning plates.
So they ask me, “How do you do it? You know, are you super organized with your day? Or do you have a lot of assistants around you? Or what’s the deal?” And I’m like, honestly, neither. I’m by myself, doing it all on my own, but also I’m not overthinking it. I start something and I don’t let the potential stress that it may create over time impede me from doing it. Because I know that I’m going to figure it out along the way, and I know that there may be bumps in the road, but my passion is going to overcome them.
So, for example, when I thought of the idea of Rose Gold Goddess back in April, I just thought, “All these people are messaging me, they have the same questions, I need to bring them together. What if I created some sort of community?” And I just let that idea brew, and brew, and brew, and then start to do research about online memberships, and how all of those things work in the more of the technical side, but that seed had been planted.
And, yes, I would see that there was work, I would see that there were obstacles that people face as they’re going through that dharma. I also joined a membership community for people with membership communities. So I sought out support of other people who are doing what I wanted to be doing. But I ignored the people who shut down their memberships, or the people who felt overwhelmed. Yes, that’s a true shadow side that may show up for me, but I didn’t let that become my experience. I knew that my desire to create something like this is immense, and I would be doing a massive disservice to myself to put my giant desires in a tiny little jar and say, “You know what? You’re too big to look at. I can’t handle you.”
So, do you have something, some great idea, something big that is truly the work of your soul? Maybe you’re not even sure about that yet, maybe you’re not even letting yourself dream. You know, a lot of people say, “I don’t know what my dharma is. I have no idea.” And the reason why is because you’re not allowing yourself to think about it. Every time you start to think about it, a thought comes in your head that stifles you. Now is the not the time, you have other work to do, focus on your job, don’t think about it, and you contain, contain, contain your creativity. So what are you doing? You’re literally training your mind every time it comes up with an idea to shush-up, to be quiet, to stay in that jar.
So what we need to do when we come up with this idea is to ride it like a wave. To say, “And then what? And then how could it grow? And then who are the people it’s going to affect?” And move it through our chakras, which I always talk about. You have to let the idea download through your crown, receive it, because the universe gave you this idea for a reason. You were the person who was meant to brought it to life. You see, I don’t have ideas about brain surgery, but a brain surgeon does. And I don’t have ideas about new architecture, but an architect does. The ideas you have are because you have everything that is needed to bring them to life.
So when we open up our crown chakras to receive, we are able to listen to what the universe is pushing towards us. That idea was planted to you to you because you are the person who is meant to bring it to life. You have everything that it takes. If you’re suffering from any form of self-doubt, or low self-esteem, or whatever it is, it’s because you haven’t realized how incredibly powerful you are. It’s disillusion.
You don’t suffer from self-doubt, you suffer from disillusion. Because if you truly could see the potential that you have, the incredible impact that one person can have on the world, or a community, or a family, or just another person, you wouldn’t doubt yourself for a moment. Confidence is just a natural result of knowing who you are. If you truly saw yourself for who you are, there would be no ounce of insecurity within you. You would be like, “Holy crap. I’m this divine being brought here to elevate consciousness. What’s up? Thank you, crown chakra, for those ideas. I’m gonna move them through the rest of my chakras, and bring them to life because I was born for this shit. That’s what’s up.”
This idea of self-doubt is the matrix essentially implanting in your head, telling you, “Oh, well you have to do these things, and have this much money, and this much security, and pay off your mortgage whatever it is to live the life you want to live.” And guess what, the people who are doing that are still not living those lives. Show me the proof, show me the people who did everything society told them to do—the college, the job, the 401(k), the marriage, the white picket fence. Show me those people and tell me, are they living their lives in alignment with their dharma? Are they the people who are bringing the most incredible projects to life? Are the people who are making the largest impact in the world? The answer is no. Some of the maybe me, but that’s not the reason why. The reason why is because they actually stopped caring about that. The reason why is because they realized how powerful one individual is.
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And when you realize that, you don’t let those little bumps on the road prevent you from driving down that road. I don’t look at a dirt road and say, “Oh, it’s really bumpy, so I can’t drive on it.” Like, bitch, I’m in a car. Like I can drive down this road. Yeah, it’ll be bumpy, but guess what, my automobile was designed for this. That’s essentially you in this human costume. The fact that you’re here, incarnated in bone, blood, and flesh shows you have everything it needs to drive down the dirt road.
And guess what, when you drive down that dirt road a little bit, it stops becoming bumpy. In fact, it becomes paved in freaking cotton candy, and whatever you want, your favorite things on this earth. And you’re like, “Oh my God, I did not know about this road. I would have never found it, but I had to go through this dirt road to get to the cotton candy road.”
Like that is what your dharma is. You have to go through the bumpy road to get to the high road. But all of us are too concerned with the bumps on the road that we never get there. We don’t even let ourselves come up with the idea because we’re coming up with way more ideas on how it won’t work. And some of us have other people doing this for us, and when we take on those beliefs to ourselves.
Like do you have that friend or parent that every time you tell them you have an idea they come up with a million ways why it won’t work? “Oh, someone else is already doing that. Oh, that’s never going to make any money. Oh, you’re too late in the game. You’re too old for that. You need to have a lot of investments for that.” Do you have anyone else saying that to you, or is that you telling that to yourself?
Because that’s not your voice, and that’s not the friend or the parent’s voice, it’s the voice of fear. It’s the voice of limitations. It’s the voice of many people who’ve chosen to not go down that bumpy road because they were afraid of a little bit of bumps. And those people collectively passed on, you know, the telephone, “Don’t go down the bumpy road. You’re never going to make it to the other side,” because they never freaking went there.
Ask someone who is living their life in alignment with their purpose, anyone, whether that’s a C.E.O., or a mom, or aesthetician, or a politician, or whatever, just someone who truly believes they’re living their life in alignment with their dharma, and say, “Was it worth it?” And you tell me if you find one person who says, “I’m living my life in alignment with my dharma, my soul’s purpose, and no, it wasn’t worth the struggle. Definitely not. I wish I just never listened to that voice.” You’ll never find that.
But do you know who you’re going to find a lot of? The people who didn’t listen to that voice, and on their deathbed are dissatisfied. In fact, the number one thing that nurses hear from people on their deathbed is, “I should have lived life for myself. I should have followed that dream. I should have done that thing I really wanted to do, but I was too afraid of.” That is the number one thing people say on their deathbed. Please don’t become part of that statistic.
And don’t wait until you’re dead to start thinking about it. You don’t want to waste the next lifetime on the things you could have learned in this lifetime. Learn as much as you can in this lifetime so then in the next lifetime you’re just like an angel, you know? You’re just having fun in the next lifetime.
So this lifetime is about doing that dream, that vision that you have. And if you’re not sure what that is, begin asking yourself—what are the things that excite me? If I could spend my time doing anything what would it be? What are the things people come to me for when they have problems? Who am I in my family? Who am I in my group of friends? How do I best show up? When does time feel like it doesn’t exist? When do I feel like I’m in alignment with my purpose? What activities make me feel energized? What brings me in alignment with my truth? Like these are just thoughts right now that are flowing through me that we all have access to. Just you could even just hit “rewind” on this and answer those questions. And I promise you, your dharma is going to unfold itself very quickly. In fact, it’s already there.
Your soul already knows what you want to do, what you were meant to do, what you need to do to achieve pure joy and happiness bliss, ananda, in this lifetime. You actually can’t be happy without living in alignment with your purpose. Like that is actually a fact. And, I know, it may sound controversial, I just wrote a chapter about this in the book that I’m writing right now called “Discover Your Dharma.” Whole entire book based on all of this stuff, so stay tuned for that.
But a lot of us are chasing happiness. If you ask someone, “What’s the meaning of life?” The meaning of life is to be happy, right? I mean, great answer, appreciate it, but no, the meaning of life is not to feel one emotion. Happiness is one emotion. Why would the meaning of life to only feel one emotion when we have access to so many different emotions? We have peacefulness, serenity, bliss, fun, excitement, sadness, fear, anger, stress, irritation, guilt, shame, positivity, vibrancy, joy, radiance, flow. So many emotions, right? Thousands of them.
So why would the purpose of life only be to feel one? Happiness is a byproduct of living in alignment with your dharma. It is the purpose but the byproduct. Because when you are living in alignment with your dharma, there is no greater joy. And happiness and joy are kind of two different things. And when most of us mean, “I want to be happy,” sometimes we’re thinking about like that feeling when your favorite band goes on stage at a concert. Well, guess what, that’s not a lasting feeling. That moment when you met the love of your life, that’s not a lasting feeling.
Even bliss, in the vedas, they say the purpose of life, your true self, is bliss, ananda, but the bliss they are speaking about is not the same bliss you have when you’re having an orgasm. It’s actually a different, more subtle kind of bliss, subtle kind of joy, subtle kind of happiness. And it comes when every single day you’re living in alignment with your dharma. And some days are more stressful than others. When, again, stress isn’t inside of you, stress is just your biological response to outside occurrences. Stress actually doesn’t exist in activities, it is in yourself. There is not stress, you are stressed.
But, I understand, we’re all humans and sometimes we feel it. I definitely feel it too. Sometimes I am stressed, and sometimes I am happy, and sometimes I am sad. But I’m always living in alignment with my dharma, and that means in the broader sense, I’m always truly joyful. Because even if I had a more challenging day, or busy day, or full day, or tired day than another, I know I has brought me closer and closer to the purpose that my soul incarnated for in this lifetime.
So, no, sometimes playing with Chubby feels more purposeful, but I can’t do that for a lifetime and ignore the flaming desire in my soul to create. So this is why if all we do is just chase happiness—I just want to be happy right now—guess what? We ignore the bigger reason why we’re here, and then we’re never actually happy. You’re going to look for another friend to have a little friend romance with, and then you get bored of that friend, or you get into a fight, and then you look for a new workout you’re gonna do, and then you’re gonna look for a new project or something, just things to distract you.
You know, you watch these “Real Housewives” shows—I’ve never watched them, but I’m gonna guess they do a lot of things to distract them during the day. You know, like, I’m gonna go learn how to knit.” Like that is great, but these things, again, are soothing activities. And soothing activities have their time and place, but your lifetime is not just about soothing yourself, your lifetime is about using your strengths, and sharing your gifts, and being of service to humanity in however which way you were born to.
So if you are in your head, you’re thinking about all the reasons why your dharma won’t work, you’re afraid, and you feel like you’re not confident enough, whatever the story is, I just want you to realize that that’s not actually your story. Like I’mma be real, that’s not your story, that’s the story that you’ve been holding onto that is society’s, and maybe your school, maybe your parent, maybe someone else’s that was passed down to them by someone else, it’s actually not yours.
Because when you are being your full authentic self, none of that shit’s gonna be there. So I’m not asking you to change, I’m asking you to become who you truly are. And when you become who you truly are, everything around you may change—your house, your relationships, your everything. But it’s not you who is changing, but rather you who are becoming who you already are. And that’s really the work here, to let go of the conditioning, to let go of the limiting beliefs, to let go of the false identifications of the self.
I’m not saying dissolve the ego, the ego has its necessity on society. I mean, we can’t operate as humans on this physical plane without an ego, we need an identity to interact with other people. I’m not saying have no identity, have no personality and just like mush with trees, that’s not what I’m telling you to do. What I’m telling you to do is realize how much of an impact Greta Thunberg is having on the environment. Or how much of an impact Gandhi had on the world, or how much of an impact even a mentor, or a parent, or friend, or teacher has had on your life. So you can see how much of an impact you can have on someone else.
So I’m super excited to be connecting with you guys in my membership community, Rose Gold Goddesses. It has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, truly it is a membership community of all conscious women around the world. We have groups in cities like dozens of cities around the world, women are meeting up in person, they’re having goddess circles, we have monthly virtual goddess circles with me, expert calls, my workshops, all of the master classes that I’ve done are for free within Rose Gold Goddesses. So “Awaken Your Powers,” my “Discover Your Dharma,” all of them are available for you within Rose Gold Goddesses.
So we are going to be opening doors back up very soon, but I want you to join the waitlist so you do not miss out on this opportunity. Head over to rosegoldgoddesses—plural—goddesses.com and you can sign up for the waitlist right there. I also have that link in the show notes.
If you loved this episode, I would love if you could leave me a review in the iTunes store. And as a free gift, I will share with you the first half of my unreleased book, “Eat Right For Your Mind Body Type.” Simply email a screenshot of your review over to firstname.lastname@example.org. Again, sahara—S-A-H-A-R-A-- @eatfeelfresh.com and I will send you over the first half of my unreleased book, “Eat Right For Your Mind Body Type.” Thank you and Namaste.
Episode 233 – The One Thing That’s Holding You Back From Happiness
with Sahara Rose