In this episode, we talk about finding your calling through Rha’s three step system: stay true, get paid, do good. We speak about the common roadblocks people experience when finding their calling and how you can live your truth, especially in this moment of time when so many jobs and occupations are being redefined. Join us!
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Transcript
Episode 288: Honoring the Calling Within Rha Goddess
By Sahara Rose
Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you, your soul’s highest evolvement.
Wow! What a week, what a month it has been! I feel like we are doing the amount of work that could have taken us years, in a matter of days, right now. I mean, we are seeing our collective shadows; we are coming face-to-face with our deepest fears; we are seeing such beauty and unity, and also such sadness and pain, and it really is the full human experience right in front of us that we have just, kind of feeling like we have been thrown into. Though if we really tune in, that this has actually been bubbling underneath the surface this entire time, and now we’re coming face-to-face with the aspects of ourselves and society that we have been in avoidance of.
So, I’m not going to get totally into it this episode because I’ve done my past three solocasts about it, but keep riding the waves, keep staying true to your heart. Right now is The Greatest Awakening that has ever happened in human history.
You know, we’ve been talking about this for such a long time and it’s here, it’s here. This is the time for us to really look within and to question all of our decisions, all of our choices, all of our assumptions, identities, beliefs, you know – who are we at a soul level? This is really the time for us to really look into that. And so many of us have just been so busy in our day-to-day lives going from one job to one appointment, to one meeting, to one dinner out etc., picking up your kids from school, taking them after school, the list goes on. We’ve been so busy that we haven’t given ourselves a chance to ask ourselves why. And really, this is coming up for all of us right now, you know. We’re really taking a look at what our schedules once were and saying “Well, is this how I want to spend my time? Is this best serving me? Does this make sense?” And we’re able to look so deeply within it so we could make the best choices for how we want to move forward.
So everyone right now, regardless of if you are in the service industry and are unemployed, or if you are CEO who has maybe had to lay people off, or you are a mom who’s worried for your parents and your kids, or any age, any nationality, any income group etc. is feeling it; any part of the world is feeling it. And this really is an opportunity for Global Oneness, you know – when in the history of time have we all felt the same thing at the same time? And that makes us aware; that makes us aware that “Wow, I’m not going through this alone; we’re all in the same giant boat together. And how are we going to maneuver through these waters? We just came across this storm. And now how are we going to move forward? How are we going to make our ships stronger, and make our crew stronger; make all systems more aligned, so when we get out of the storm we are more in direction to our true North than ever before.”
So, I’ve been sharing a lot on my downloads of this, on the Podcast, on my Instagram, and then also in (if you really want my inside scoop of all of the things that I’m felling) – that’s in Rose Gold Goddesses which is my Sacred Sisterhood Collective – a membership community of two thousand spiritual women who are literally right now I swear, we are just saving each other’s lives; we are sharing, you know, I’ve run out of this – like, household product, how can I make it with coconut oil to how are you coping with family members right now, to let’s talk about something else besides the Coronavirus and everything in between. So, Rose Gold Goddesses has been a saving grace. I swear the reason why Source told me to create this membership community (last September when it launched) was for this experience that we are in right now, the fact that we can’t have physical community around us; the fact that we are in self-retreat aka quarantine, right now; the fact that this awakening is happening and we need support, we need content, we need discussions, we need people who have been on this path before who can guide us through and all of that, and so much more is available for you in Rose Gold Goddesses.
So, we’ve opened doors back up because there was such a high demand for people who were like “Can I please join now? I really need the community, it was too busy before and now I really need it.” So, we have all my Master Classes in there; all my talks; my Discover Your Dharma – a 10-day workshop; my talks at Facebook and Google; my Awaken Your Powers Master Class with Shaman Durek. If you sign up for annual you get my Sex Money Magic class with Alexandra Roxo. Each of those classes is worth $500 alone, and this membership community is extremely affordable – I made it $29 a month if you are month-to-month, and down to $19 a month if you sign up annual with the extra $1000+ of bonuses.
So, we’ve opened doors back up to support you at this time so if it is resonating with you, you are craving a conscious community, you want support, you want to not waste your time on Instagram. You know, I deleted the Instagram App today, I was like “I need a day-off of this” because everyone is just fear-vomiting, no one knows what’s happening, no one knows what to say so they’re just spilling of their guts here and it’s not making anyone feel better and it’s not giving anyone a clear path or direction on how to move forward.
So, Rose Gold Goddesses is high-vibrational, it’s our very own social network, we post everything like on a social network, but it’s the kind of content that you actually want to read; the kind of content that’s supportive. So many of our members right now are doing member-led workshops on Creating Financial Abundance at this time; Breath-Work; Overcoming Anxiety; Human Design; Sharing You Story, so much more. So, this is truly a no-brainer – if you are someone who listens to this Podcast, it is the Podcast on steroids. Imagine being in this Podcast in a world where there’s other people interacting with you – and that’s what you get in Rose Gold Goddesses.
So, again, head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com – you’ll find that link in the show notes and I’m so excited to meet you inside.
So, let’s talk about finding your Calling. You know that this is a topic I am so passionate about; my new book “Discover Your Dharma” which is out next January is on this and I am always looking for people with unique perspectives on how to find your Dharma, your Purpose, your Calling, whatever it is that you choose to call it.
So, I came across Rha Goddess and I was like “Okay, she is definitely a sister from another life” because first of all her name is Rha Goddess (so hi, let’s be friends) and also, what she really works with is helping people find their Calling. So, I found out about her because she was actually Gaby Bernstein’s life coach for ten plus years, really helping Gaby navigate to be on the path she’s in today, so I was like “Okay, of course this woman’s got some good juju.” And then I listened to her talks and I just loved her energy, I loved everything about her and I know you are too.
So, in this episode we talk about her new book “The Calling” which is really her unique blueprint on how to find your Purpose. So, she has a methodology which she calls ‘Stay True, Get Paid and Do Good.’ So we talk about all three of those – how to stay true to who you are, how to get paid for what you do and how to do good in the world, because what I really love about Rha Goddesses’ perspective is that it’s all about Activism. You know, we do good in the world so we can be of service, and I really resonate with that because I think a lot of times we’re so focused on finding our Purpose just for ourselves or just to make money, and it really naturally becomes something that you do to be of service to the world, and that fuels you up and that really is what makes it worthwhile.
So, we talk about all of this; we talk about different road blocks that you might experience. You know, I am always in communication with you guys about what obstacles are you dealing with in finding your Dharma, your Purpose, and I tried to ask as many of those as I could to her to really offer to you the greatest perspective because I know so many of you guys are on a shift right now, you know, maybe you’ve lost your job; maybe you’re reconsidering what you do etc., so, this is a really good time to listen to this episode on really thinking about your Calling and what it is you are here to create and cause in this world.
So, without further ado, let’s welcome Rha Goddess to The Highest Self Podcast.
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Sahara:
Welcome Rha to The Highest Self Podcast, it’s so great to have you here.
Rha:
Thank you so much Sahara, it’s my joy to be here.
Sahara:
The first question I’d love to ask you is what makes you your highest self?
Rha:
I think it’s my commitment to my relationship to Source. You know, whether we call it God, Spirit, you know, all of the other names – Elohim, Allah. My commitment to being in this communion with what I call The All-Providing Source, or Spirit of God is absolutely what invites me into and allows me to radiate and express from my highest self.
Sahara:
Love that! So beautifully said and I think that that’s the universal thing that brings us all together knowing that we’re plugged into this global antenna and can always tune back into it for guidance.
Rha:
Yeah, for sure.
Sahara:
Beautiful! Well, you just wrote a book called “The Calling” and you have done so much work helping people really find their message, their ‘why’, and this is a huge topic that we talk about on Highest Self Podcast. A lot of listeners are those healers; they are those coaches even if they’re not doing it professionally. They’re that friend that people come to when they have a problem, but they don’t really know how or if it’s really possible for them to make a career doing it – they suffer from imposter syndrome.
So, I’d love you, you know, if you were speaking maybe to your 25-year old self who had that passion within you but maybe had the fears – what would you say to her?
Rha:
Yeah, I mean, so many things, given what I’ve learned. But I think the first thing and the first thing that I see that people struggle with is our perception of our self and our relationship to ourselves. You mentioned the ‘imposter syndrome’, there’s this question about whether or not we’re worthy; it’s a question about whether or not we’re capable; it’s a question of whether or not we’re smart enough; you know, it’s sort of fill in the blank enough. And so, the first thing I would say is really creating time and space to strengthen and deepen our relationship with ourselves, and in that, giving ourselves permission to be really clear about who we are, and to be really clear about what we want.
You know, so a lot of what I experience when people come to me and sometimes you know, the very aspirational “I want to do this; I want to do this; I want to do this” right, and then I say “Are you sharing it or are you talking to people about it? – Well, no.” You know, it’s like this big secret, and we’re on some level almost apologetic about what we want to be doing, especially when it’s really, really important to us.
And so, the first thing I want you all to know (those of you who are listening) is that whatever you are seeking, is seeking you; and whatever you’re feeling inspired to want to pursue; whatever you’re feeling inspired to want to explore – there’s a reason why it’s pulling on your soul, or tugging on your spirit or nudging your heart, and that is because to belongs to you, it is yours to do.
Sahara:
So beautifully said! Your dreams are always dreaming you back and there’s no coincidence that they’re there.
So, I’d love to talk about your three-step process of how to take that Calling and get paid for it. How does that work?
Rha:
Yeah, so the way that the book is organized, it really is designed to address what I’ve seen as being the top three concerns; one of the top three reasons why people don’t lean in. We talked a tiny bit about the first concern, which is – who am I? – And this idea of worthiness, our capacity, and are we enough, what are we capable of or not capable of; and all of the messages that have ultimately shaped and molded our image of our self in the way that we perceive ourselves.
And so, being willing to actually lean into this question of – what is the gap between who I see myself as and who I think it is I need to be in order to actually say yes to what it is that I’m here to do in the world.
The second concern that people grapple with of course is – how do I pay the rent? You know, and that’s often the number one reason that has people sit down, so it’s like, you know “If I don’t see an immediate monetary pathway, I then question the narrative of the idea; I question the narrative of the impulse, and often I will put whatever that passion is, whatever that aspiration is on the back burner because I can’t figure out how to be sustainable in it.”
And then the third concern that people grapple with is – can I really make a difference? You know, we have a perception about the state of our world and where we think our world is and the degree to which we think is safe, wonderful, beautiful world; and the degree to which we think it is a dangerous, periful, you know, periless and dark world, and our ability to grapple with this sort of in-grain apathy and resignation, and the degrees to which we’re successful in that – you know, can we really; do we really have what it takes; will our efforts really bear fruit when we look at the things that are the most important to us that we really want to be moving it along, right? And so, in the book, not only do I acknowledge these concerns, but I take you through a six-step transformative protocol around each of the respective concerns. So, there’s the Stay True Transformative Process; there’s the Get Paid Transformative Process; and there’s a Do Good Transformative Process. And in each of those processes the journey takes you from the Stay True side – from victim, sort of like life-by-default to being a conscious creator of what it is you really want to have and who it is you really want to be in the world; of the Get Paid side from scarcity, from the culture of there is not enoughness to a place of abundance which is this idea of sufficiency and beyond life, and us really aligning with the truth of what we want and us aligning with the truth that we are connected to a Source that is all-providing and all-sustaining.
And then the Do Good journey is moving people from the place of fear, apathy, resignation to the place of love. You know, in other words, we have so much more capacity for anything when we can stand in love, first.
Sahara:
I love that so much and it’s so true, just the different concerns. And sometimes we think “Oh, I’ll find my purpose and everything’s good” and it just opens up new questions to then discover at that level.
So, I’d love to dive into all three. So, I think a lot of listeners right now are at that first stage of “I don’t really know what that thing is” and a lot of people are interested in many different topics. I remember myself, I was like “Should I write a book; should I start a jewelry line; should I start a skin-care line?” and it was like completely different paths, completely different things and different aspects of my personality.
So, if you are someone who is multi-passionate and maybe feels a little bit of commitment phobia when it comes to that one thing and that being your life’s work – how do you find that thing and not run away from it once it starts getting somewhere?
Rha:
Yes, that’s a great question. The first thing you want to do is really create space to listen. You know, just like to your point, often when people come, they have the vehicle really clear “I think I want to do a course; I want to write a book; I want to run a retreat” but it’s kind of like “Okay, so let’s step all the way back and ask – what’s the difference you want to make; what’s the contribution you want to make; what is it that you want to express through the vehicles that you’re thinking about or choosing; and is there a place where when we get to the essence of who you are, those qualities, those gifts converge into something very unique?” And so, you know, I often say to people it’s not necessarily about whether you should write a book or launch a jewelry line, but it’s rather about what’s the difference that you really wanted to make, or what’s the way in which you most want to be expressed, and what’s at the center of that? Like, what are the elements, or the qualities, or the design of what’s at the center of that? And then when you think about that, then the question becomes – what feels like the way you want to be expressed first, right? Because I always say you can chose one or you find the beautiful alchemy of all the intersection of all of those potential talents and gifts. And then what you’re offering is something innovative and unique and multi-faceted.
So, don’t be afraid of your multi-facetedness. It’s more about understanding what’s the urge or the impulse underneath that’s causing these aspects of you to want to be expressed.
Sahara:
A hundred percent! And I think that those different aspects of you, like maybe you want to write a book and then also start a skin-care line – maybe you write a book about skin-care or you bring the two worlds together but they’re not coincidental. And also, what I’ve realized is not everything I love has to become my business – I thought like “Oh well, I love doing yoga, so I should become a yoga teacher, but I don’t love teaching yoga.” So, there’s a difference between doing something as your life’s work and doing something for pure enjoyment.
Rha:
Yeah. And I think that’s a great distinction and it’s why I sort of asked the question – what’s the contribution you want to make? Because, you know, to your point, you might say “I love yoga and this is all about me, and my body, and my health and my wellness which enables me to do all of the other things that I want to do.” The distinction that I often make between something that you’re just “passionate about” and something that you’re here to do, is there is the deep-seeded urge to share it.
So, there’s something about not just your ability to have it; not just your ability to experience it or your ability to do it; but a deep, deep desire to share it, and share it with others in a massive way.
Sahara:
I love that so much. That desire to share is so innate in us about something – it’s just finding out what that something is.
So, I think a lot of people right now are working maybe a 9-5 job and there’s that thing that they’re interested in doing, but to do it they have to you know, essentially be working at night or on the weekends and they feel like they can’t really have that work-life balance; the self-care lifestyle etc., and they’re not sure if they’re willing to sacrifice that to take that thing off the ground. What advice do you have around that?
Rha:
I think it really comes to what’s really important to you? And it’s amazing to see when we ask that question sometimes how much people actually take pause; because it’s not a question we ask ourselves a lot. Like, “What do I really, really, really want? Or what is really, really, really important?” And a lot of us, we hang out in the vagueness, because it’s safer. Because if I ask that question, I might really need to be thinking about the job I’m currently working. Or if I ask that question, I may need really to tell the truth about the relationship I’m in. If I ask that question, I may really need to be considering how I am spending my time.
And so, I think the opportunity here is not about pressure, but it is about priority, and it is about values, and it is about you know, when you start to consider how you want to spend your time, and when you start to consider what it is that you want to be contributing to the world. And the way in which your time either aligns with what you want to be contributing or not (you know what I mean?) then you may start to make some different considerations.
I think this myth about you needing to kill yourself; to follow your passion and purpose is mythology. You know, I think it’s Maverick-based Entrepreneurial Mythology and I think some people aspire to that or get excited about that, or the part of them that is adventurous or risk-taking wants to lean into that. But I also find that many people want to work in a different way; they want to work in ways that are much more elegant, much more aligned, much more forgiving and loving to the Mind and the Body and the Spirit, and so it isn’t just what you’re pursuing but it’s also what’s the quality of your experience as you’re pursuing it. So, the balance is great, and you know, what is going to contribute to your fulfillment is also a question you may be asking or what is highest and best used of your talents may also be a question you want to be asking, especially if you know that you are interested in making a difference in the world.
Sahara:
I love that so much and I think a lot of people, we just assume like “Oh, my values are to be a good person” but we don’t actually define them, and when we don’t know what they are, we’re not making decisions based on them.
So what practices do you have for people to really define what their core values are?
Rha:
In the book, I actually take you through a series of guided reflections and exercise that is around developing what I call Your Live, Love, Lead Declarations. And I define success as being a function of alignment, and for me it’s important to say this because you know, traditionally, when we look at the way that success has been defined is often been defined by people who have a bunch of stuff or people who are perceived to be really good at stuff. But I make a distinction between those people and people who I have seen or experienced who have real success, which I mean is whole-self success, in other words they’re operating and moving from a context that really guides how they live and they move and have their being because there is integrity and there is cohesion; and how they operate and move in the world. And so, in the book, I take you through this process where we actually do look at the values and I do ask you to think about what really is important, and to create room and space to really answer the question because I think sometimes what happens is we get really comfortable “I don’t know” and then it’s like “Pass the t’s” and we’re on to the next thing. But I feel like there will come a time for all of us in our growth and evolution (if it isn’t in this moment) where we get tired of going through the emotions; we get tired of faking it; we get tired of skating along the surface, and we’re actually looking for real, meaningful, in-depth experiences that leave us way more fulfilled and leave us more connected to the truth of who we are. And so your values and your principles are the beginnings of that sort of compass, that guide, that foundation that begins to invite this new level of alignment between what it is that you really want to have and want to experience in your life; what it is you really have to offer and what it is that you want to bring; and then ultimately the difference that you want to make – the contribution that you want to make in the world.
Sahara:
I love that so much and I went through it myself. And it really made me think because sometimes we just operate based off of thinking we know what our values are, but it’s important to continue to go back to it, because our values do shift, you know, the different stages of our lives may make different things more important to us, so it’s important to always go back and look at, you know, “Maybe something in my business was serving me at a certain point and now it’s not” as we continue to learn more about ourselves.
Rha:
Yeah, absolutely. We are changing and evolving all, all of the time. So this opportunity to stay awake at the wheel of our own evolution is incredibly important.
Sahara:
And I think that that changing is also what makes people feel like they’re failing, because they feel like, you know, “I launched maybe a brand around who I was at this point of time, but that’s not true to me, but now if I change it, I’m going back to square one.”
So what recommendations do you have for people who are at a transition point? Maybe they’re going from one type of coach to another or one career to a next.
Rha:
Yeah, I mean, I think again, it’s all about the listening and the degree to which you’re in tune with what the contribution is that you want to be making. So, what I’m always interested in is what’s inspiring the pivot? And what we need to be mindful of is sometimes what inspires the pivot – is our comparing ourselves to somebody else and our feeling like we want to be hip and cool, and in, and in-the-know; you know what I mean, in other words we’re chasing all of the external, you know, shiny things, right? or all of the external trappings without really coming into the depth of ourselves and so often (when I have the opportunity to work with people) they have maybe been fleeting from X to Y to Z to P to Q, and they don’t, at some point they’re kind of just lost, like “I have no idea what it is.” Or we’re following somebody else’s opinion about what we should do, and sometimes the input of our friend is a great thing, but sometimes when we’re formulating and we’re incubating, and we’re really giving birth to the core of our worth – that’s about you and you time; and you being able to create that time to really listen and be in communion with your own highest wisdom about where you’re being guided and where you’re being called.
If you’re transitioning, like let’s say you’ve done something for a lot of years and it feels like genuine, organic growth and evolution for you – then it’s about honoring where you feel guided; and being willing to allow yourself to figure it out as you surrender to whatever you feel this next impulse is.
So, you know, the ‘imposter syndrome’ often has us be very addicted to perfectionism, so, a lot of us don’t even start because it’s not all buttoned up and it’s not all perfect. Or God forbid, we would be a work-in-progress transitioning into, evolving into, and growing into the next phase of what it is that we’re giving, but the opportunity is actually to surrender to that, to know that that’s natural and normal, and in fact, I believe that the most impactful contributions come from this willingness to allow ourselves to be in the lab around that what it is that we’re creating, experimenting, innovating – we get the best, ultimate outcomes when we give our self that kind of permission.
Sahara:
I love that so much and I think that it all comes down to ourselves and who we are at this moment and then letting our life be a reflection of that.
So, I’d love to talk a little bit about Motherhood. I know a lot of moms out there listening feel a bit of guilt, you know, going after their Calling when they feel like now their life should be focused on their children and their children’s Calling, and it’s too late for them. What do you have to say to others?
Rha:
Yeah. Well, first of all, it’s never too late. No matter who you are, no matter where you come from; no matter what stage of life you’re in – it’s never too late, the Calling will continue to find you (and all the frontiers, right?). I think for our moms, yes, there is a lot of guilt around our ambition, you know, and is it okay to want from myself? You know, when I also have now an additional life that I’m responsible for; whether I’m able to raise that child in full partnership or whether I’m going it on my own. And I think the greatest contribution that you can ever make to your children is to be in the truth of who you are; to live a life that honors and upholds and uplifts what is important to you to demonstrate and be an example, you know, which is a lot of what I’m starting to hear more mom’s say is “I’m not just doing it for me but I’m doing it for him, or I’m doing it for her because I want to actually be the living example of what is possible.” And I think the more that we can be in the fullness of who we are, the more we have to contribute to our loved ones. Whether they’re our children, or our mates, or extended family – our capacity and our ability to honor our full potential is what gives us more to give and more to bring to the party.
So, this idea that you have to trade (and I talk a lot about this in the book) – this idea that I have to trade is so much of what’s been engraved for us, right? Whether it’s love for money or free time or your dream or youth, or your children, for your career, you know, it’s always about the trade-off and I say; I was in a conversation with one of the many mother’s that I’ve had the privilege to coach and work with, and she is like “You can have it all” and I said “Maybe you can’t have it all but you can have what matters” and the opportunity is to really get grounded in what matters to you as you consider the wealth of what you have to offer and what it is that you want to model, and you want to demonstrate, and you want to show and you want to give and bring to your child.
Sahara:
I love that so much. You always have time for what matters and I think we have to get rid of the expectations of what maybe we’ve grown up that a mother is. Like, a mother is someone who sacrifices, who puts herself last, who is always there for any need of her child, any time around the clock and when you’re following your Calling, there are, you know, some sacrifices that have to be made, but there are for the greater good of the whole including your children, and it takes realizing that Oneness and that interconnectivity and knowing that if you don’t go after it, you’ll just be resentful and your kids will feel that.
Rha:
Yeah. And I think this whole conversation even about sacrifice – like, I challenge it on some level because the whole intention of when you “give something up” is that you give something up in service to something greater, right? But I think there’s a way in which sacrifice has been baked into our mythology that’s around painful struggle, painful deprivation, painful achievement, striving, over-compensation, and I want to invite us to engage in a more liberated way, like, we don’t have to struggle and suffer. You know, I say there’s needless suffering and there’s purposeful suffering. Purposeful suffering is about the evolution and sometimes there are things we need to shed; sometimes there are ways that we need to step out of our comfort zone in order to really go to the next level of our evolution. But there are some times where we struggle needlessly – we get stuck in conversations, or stuck in habitual loops, or stuck in particular thought patterns or behavioral patterns that we’re turning ourselves inside-out for nothing; and our ability to see that on a fundamental level. So many of us are struggling with the belief that we deserve to be happy and we deserve to be fulfilled, and so the happiness will only willing to engage the happiness to the degree to which we can have the drama around it – and that’s a place that we get to heal because we deserve that goodness and we get to have itties, we really do.
Sahara:
Yes and choosing. I think we all just have been brought up that growth comes from pain. I have to suffer to learn, so we’re like “Okay, I need to grow so let me look for how I can suffer” and we become addicted to that and you know there is an element of you know shedding out of that cocoon which feels uncomfortable, but what if we choose that uncomfortable for is joyful; that is blissful; that does actually feel really good. It’s like working-out, you could say “Ah this hurts” or you could be like “this feels really good and invigorating and energizing.”
Rha:
Yeah, or “This hurts but I understand what’s available to me on the other side of it.”
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Rha:
So sometimes we do have to sit, you know, so I said ‘needless suffering’ and ‘purposeful suffering.’ Sometimes we do need to sit in some harder things, and it is OK to be uncomfortable, and it is OK to feel feelings that aren’t always joy and light and fun. Our capacity to be able to face all of the shades, and the textures and colors of life is also part of our power, and we don’t need to run from that you know. So I think our opportunity, in terms of journey is to recognize ‘so it’s not a pre-requisite’ but it also isn’t anything to run from if we understand and can be in touch with the fact that we are being served. As uncomfortable as it may be, we are getting deeper to the truth; we’re getting closer to how we really feel; we’re getting closer to the kinds of relationships and opportunities that are really going to take us where we really want to go and where we want to be.
Sahara:
Yeah, and I see both us also like when it gets uncomfortable and uncomfortable conversation that we need to have because you know, finding your Calling is going to require redefining some relationships in our lives.
So, what do you do when you feel like you’re kind of growing out of your tribe, your surroundings, your engaging in different type of though patterns that they might not be used to and they may be saying “You’ve changed” in a negative way and holding you back; and you might feel some guilt too for feeling that you’ve out-grown them. How do we cope with that?
Rha:
Yeah, so I think the first is, you have to tell the truth about it, and I always say it’s not, because I sometimes get in this narrative of “Oh, I’m leaving people behind” and that can have an element of sort of hierarchy and superiority in it, so it’s going to be mindful, but we do change, grow and evolve and there are times when we are in experiences, or in community where it feels aligned; and in times we’re in community when it doesn’t feel aligned – has nothing to do with them, everything to do with where you are. So, it’s really taking responsibility for like “Wow, I’m in a different place” and you know, you still may love those people and you still may on some level want to stay connected to those people, but when you’re in a growth cycle or when you’re in a really, what I like to call an Incubating State or Birthing State, you don’t want to be in an environment that is conducive to what you’re trying to birth and conducive to what you’re trying to grow, you know. You need water and sunshine when you’re growing into those new ways of expressing and being, and yes, sometimes your friends can give you slack about it because you may occur to them as being different, and I think, in those moments you get to tell the truth about how you feel about them; you also get to tell the truth about where you’re at; like, this is not about you, it’s really what I’m experiencing, what I’m journeying through and I feel like I owe it to myself to surrender to wherever I’m being called to next; I owe it to myself to do this work-care on me, right, so that it’s not about a threat to you; it’s not about an animosity, a feeling of animosity to you. And then people will chose – some people will choose to lean in, other people will choose to fall away – and that’s not yours to control, though I understand it can often be of concern – that’s a place where we also have to be courageous and trust that those who are afore us will lean in; those who may not be – you know, reason, season, lifetime, right? some seasons we lean in, some seasons we lean out. So to also know that life is cyclical and it moves in funny ways and that you can trust the ebb and flow however it chooses to reveal itself.
Sahara:
Now, what if these people are your family? I know for myself, my biggest obstacle was my family being so afraid of me choosing this path because they had never seen anyone do it before, so they felt like I’d end up homeless. And a lot of listeners right now, their parents are like “You’re going to go do what?! Where is the security in that?”
So, how do you cope with your own family really passing along their fears to you which can also make you hesitant about your own choices?
Rha:
Yes, a great question. So the first thing that I would say is to see it as an accrual of their love for some parents right? Now the truth is we all don’t come from the same circumstances, so in some cases, we have to acknowledge that some of us do come from toxic circumstances, and in those particular cases you have to make decisions about boundaries, you know, small doses and in some cases not at all, depending upon the nature that you’re dealing with. And I think, though we may intuitively know this, we don’t explicitly say enough to recognize that just because you share blood with someone, doesn’t necessarily always mean that they have your best interest at heart – and that’s a tough thing to say; that’s a tough thing to face and a tough thing to be with. So, as much as you may can come from an environment where people who have birthed you; or come from an environment where people share your bloodline, you still have the right to be in full presence of Mind, and Body, and Spirit when you’re choosing about where you spend your time; where you spend your effort; where you spend your energy. It is not your job to fix your mother or your father; it is not your job to fix your brother or your sister. It is your choice should you decide to love them and make choices based upon how they show up in the context of the relationship to the degree to which they get in-time or out-time, right? Now, when it’s coming from a place of love and concern, the opportunity is to really hear “I love you” you know.
Working with a client one day, and she was like “My mother’s – I’m so worried” and I said to her “Every time that your mother says it, I want you to really hear “I love you. I’m concerned about you. I want to know that you’re ok, I want to know that you’re safe.” You know, so rather than having them become the enemy to the dream or the enemy to the aspiration; to recognize that they are expressing their love and concern the best way that they know how. And so, the first thing is to see that and to know that.
The second thing is to really continue to stand in what is important to you. So “I appreciate the love and concern, and I’m really feeling called to this; and I’m really feeling like I want to explore this. I can always get a job” right, if that’s the concern “I can always get a job mom, right? or I can always do X,Y or Z. I can always do P, D, Q” but at some point you need to be out in the world and at some point every single one of us has got to learn how to stand on our own two feet, you know. And to engage with those who love us and who are concerned about us with love and compassion for them and love and compassion for ourselves. And that we make sure that both are operating so that we can really hold our ground when, and however, and wherever, and whenever we need to.
Sahara:
So good, and I love that. I’m going to do that too the next time my mom is like “The Coronavirus and this and that” I’ll just hear “I love you, I love you” because that’s really what it is.
So, I want to talk about the ‘Get Paid’ phase. I think a lot the fear of why people aren’t going into it is because they feel like they won’t be able to support themselves doing what they love, and it feels like they’re too late in the game and people have all these funnels already set up and “How am I going to learn the funnels and the tech, and the this and the that.” What advice do you have?
Rha:
Right, so the first thing is to take a nice deep breath (at least one, or two, or three) and to know that you don’t have to build it all today; you don’t have to do it all today; you don’t have to be it all today. And I say that because certainly social media does a lot to put pressure on people’s growth and evolution, and people’s aspirations, right? And so, often, when we get into those places of being triggered, it’s because somebody’s come out with a new thing and it’s fabulous; or someone’s bragged about the latest launch, you know what I mean, so we need to just go like “Okay, take a breath.” They’re living their best life; we want the best for them; but now, what feels most important to me?” And this is about how we learn to keep our own council – what is it that feels most important to me? And where is it that I want to focus my time and my energy and my attention?
In the context of the book, I walk you through a process where the first thing we do is we address your relationship with money and doing business. So, what’s in there that you may have inherited on be-knowns to you or be-knowns but no idea how to fix it, or shift it, or transform it – be we get up in there? Like, what are all of the things there that you have inherited about money; and how has that impacted the way in which you’ve actually operated in the context of your finances? Whether it’s, you’ve chosen to take a job that provides security but it’s something that you hate to do; or whether it is that you’ve chosen to be more reckless in reaction to not wanting to take a job; you know what I mean? Like, we’re all along the continuum right? Some of us in reaction to; some of us conforming; some of us some mixture of the two which is often what I find, right, is that mix is bad. So, the first thing is to get to a really honest and true place and ask yourself what is the relationship that I want to have with Resource? And what is the relationship that I want to have with doing business? And what is the relationship that I want to have when I think about the work that I want to be doing in the world, when I think about who I want to be serving; when I think about what it is that I want to be offering to the world.
So, the first half of that second section of the book, we get underneath what’s there, what’s the limiting beliefs? And after we take you through the process of releasing those, we then ask you the question about your vision. And in the question around your vision, you actually get to look at like “What is my money truth?” If I was walking around here talking about seven-figures and multi-million and you know; and now, and, I joke about this in my book and the other day, million is chump-change, I’m like “To who?” you know. Do we still realize that half of the world lives on just barely over $2 a day and so when we say a million dollars is chump-change, what are we really saying, and is that really what we believe and where are we getting that from? So, you know this opportunity – really slow down and kind of look at like “Wow, who’s in my head about this and where do I get these notions?” But to get to a place of (in this money truth conversation) to get to a place of what is really enough for me? You know, for some people, your vision is vast; the way that you want to express yourself is vast; and so a lot of resources are really aligned with your spirit. For other people, you’re like “If I can have three or four really good vacations, live in a beautiful home and not want for anything, anytime I want to do a thing it’s not a concern – I’m good. And so, I invite you to get true about that.
And then, from there, we start to talk a little bit about your personal economy and how you create an economy that aligns with your values? Meaning, how do you learn to do business in a way that honors:
- Where you want to be spending? What you want to be perpetuating through your own dollars and cents? And then
- How you want to be earning it and what is it that you want to offer to the market place, and who is it that you want to serve; and what’s the solution or the opportunity that you want to offer?
So we look at your proposition, what I call ‘Your Values Align Proposition’ and once you get clear about what that is, then there’s the opportunity to consider how you begin to share that in the world and strategies for how you share that. Whether you work in a company or whether you’re building your own venture, or expression, or your freelancing, and pollinating in different places, the fundamental opportunity is to get really clear on what you want to bring in honor of the economy that you want to be forging.
Sahara:
I love that so much. And I think our economies also change with time too. I remember when I first got started, I was like “I would just love to be able to live, that would be great, you know” because that was just my highest point I could see at that point in my life. If I could just pay my bills doing what I love that would be enough, and then once I got there, I started to see “Oh, well, I need to pay for graphic designers; and there were all these things I could do to make my brand even better, so I’ll need to have a little bit of extra money” and then it led to some more. And then there have also been times when I looked around and saw people have big teams and they’re all working together and I’m like “Okay, that’s what the next level of success looks like to me” to have this big team around me and I tried to do that and I realized that I don’t want people around me all the time; I don’t want to have to manage people; I actually like being alone. So I had to then realize I want to be able to go to Bali for a couple of weeks and not have to worry about this, the meetings etc. So, sometimes experiencing those different points to realize what it is what you really want.
Rha:
Absolutely true, yes. Sometimes you need to have what you don’t want to know what you do want which is what you’re saying. For sure! And I think this idea of quality of life and quality of experience is important. So if the aspiration comes at the expense of your relationships, at the expense of your health and well-being, and the expense of your joy – are you really succeeding? As we said earlier, this is where I challenge it, you know, and all of the trappings in the world don’t solve that, you know. So lots of people check in the boxes, but if you ask if they are really happy or are they truly fulfilled, often, you would be surprised at the answer. So this question for you – what is yours; what feels align with your spirit; what feels right in terms of the way you use your resources and share your resources in the world, and express yourself and what do you really need in order to do that? And then the HOW – How do you want to do it, and what do you want to experience as you’re doing it? And what is it that you want to be putting out to the world as you’re doing what you’re doing? Who do you want to be serving and making a difference for as you’re doing what you’re doing? And all of those are important to think about when you consider what is required to make money from an aligned place.
Sahara:
So, you’ve been a coach for so many years and now transitioned to writing a book – more of the public figure space which is different. The way you’re spending your time now is different, you’re on a podcast instead of perhaps on one-on-one interviews. And I think, I’ve talked to a lot of people who say “Well, I never want to do the public figure thing, I just want to be one-on-one” and I’ve talked to some people that say “I never want to do the one-on-one, I just want to do the public figure thing.”
What is you experience now thoroughly stepping into both?
Rha:
That’s a great question. You know, it’s interesting because my answer to that is – I’m always going to want to go for impact, for making a difference. And in whatever way, you know, my prayer always, when I set out in any endeavor; any you know morning I get up come to greet the day, my prayer is always that I can be of higher service. And so I’m not out here so that I need to see my face plastered everywhere, that’s not the reason why I’m here. I’m here because I understand that we are in a moment in time in terms of the growth and evolution of our consciousness as a human family, and many people are seeking and searching that next level of meaning. And I believe that I can offer something to that conversation that builds on the work of other conversations that have been happening that have led us to this moment and point in time, right? And so I’m here because I humbly believe I have something to offer to the party, and you know, to the degree to which I need to be seen or known to facilitate that – I’m open to that, you know.
And then, in terms of the one-on-one, I think on some level, I will always have intimate spaces. It may not be one-on-one, but I will always have intimate spaces where I do the work because that’s the place where I learn the most. You know, and I get to see what does the work really look like in the hearts, minds and spirits of people; and those are the reference points for then how I cultivate develop and continue to craft the transformation that I want to be offering in the world. And so, you might call that having my ear to the ground – I will always, on some level, have my ear to the ground in whatever way that may look like. But I tend to like to work intimately because I’m a girl that likes to go deep, so, I think that we always be on some level a part of the equation.
But the public thing is, more than anything, I say this because I believe that this is the case for most of us at this point in the game, we don’t just want to succeed, we want to succeed as us; we want to be in the truth of who we are more than anything. And I think for me, more than anything, it’s about me being in the practice of being in the truth of who I am regardless of what arena I may be in. If I can do it as me, I’m all for it; otherwise, I have to consider that differently.
Sahara:
I love that and I think that there’s some souls that really operate well with the one-on-one intimate and some souls that are just like really, like Gaby, who you’ve worked with for so many years, she just thrives speaking on big stages and more of an educational role and really finding where your soul feels most at home.
Rha:
Yeah, absolutely true. And we need both, you know, all of the above.
Sahara:
Yes. And I’d also love to talk about the other side of that. I know a lot of people have a fear of fame. They have a fear of people in their personal life and that’s why they’re afraid of putting their face out there, because they don’t want everyone in their business. And I never felt that way, but now that I’ve experienced getting stopped in supermarkets and things like that, I’m like “Wow” I am in no way a celebrity, but it’s almost like “Wow, I have to operate in a different way in public now” because there’s this image of me in the public that might be different than how I’m acting in that moment, and it just makes you feel almost like you’re being watched a little bit. And that’s something I’ve been even struggling with for a bit.
So, what advice do you have for people who are either afraid of fame or coping with being recognized and being known more?
Rha:
Yeah it’s interesting because I think the invasion of privacy is definitely a concern for all of us you know. I think we live in a world right now where it’s like “Is there even such a thing?” you know, there’s a question about whether or not there is such a thing as privacy anymore. But I think this idea of practicing good boundaries is important and I think that’s an important practice whether you’re looking to be more in the public eye or not; and having a real clear sense of where those boundaries are, in other words, where you’re open to allowing access and where you’re not open to allowing access, and really being willing to keep the things that are personal to you and intimate to you sacred; and how you treat them and not succumb to this pressure that can sometimes say that “Well, in order to grow fans and well, in order to prove that you’re human; or well, in order to do, you know, you do all kinds of outlandish things” you always have to come in and consult your Spirit about what is in alignment and what is integrity for you, right? And so, I think, whether it’s being stopped in the supermarket or whether it’s being out somewhere, I think there’s a bigger conversation about what is important to you in how you want to show up in any moment. And what is the grace and the freedom that you’re willing to give yourself in any moment so that you don’t become a prisoner to your fame, right? Which is what you’re talking about right? And many people struggle with that because unfortunately, we live in a society where we like to build people up and rip them down. And it’s the rip them down part that I think a lot of people are more fearful of right? So, it’s not just the invasion of privacy but the persecution kind of energy and that sort of, that place where people want to really then come in and attack and sort of knock you off that a lot of us fear. And so it becomes then being seen as dangerous and it can trigger past traumas, it can trigger a lot of different things and so in those particular cases it’s important that you do the internal work to care for yourself so that you’re not sort of out in situations where you don’t feel like you’re being well-cared for, whether you’re the person that’s leading that care and how you set boundaries and just honor and care for yourself; or whether you’re in environments that are not conducive to your well-being and we all have to make decisions about that. Because sometimes when you have that notoriety you can be tempted; you can be tempted to do things that you wouldn’t normally do and you know, and find yourself in places where you’re struggling with your own personal values and integrity and so you know, regardless of what level you’re arriving at or evolving to, your value is going to come with you. Wherever you’re going – my suggestion is that you bring your values along because if you’re standing, rooted and grounded, and can own how you’re showing up in any context, then the threat of someone being able to diminish you is less of a threat.
Sahara:
So much to say to that and yes, I think we all feel that pressure to be more authentic and reveal more of ourselves because that’s what people want and it can make people share things that they might not have fully healed, fully brought back into balance. And then I think another big thing is the cancel-culture. Just that culture of if someone does something that you don’t like, you’ll call them out and I think the reason people are doing it is because they’re trying to protect and they’re trying to talk about important issues but it turns into a lot or witch-hunting and a lot of people are afraid of being on the opposite end of that saying their political views, saying how they really feel because they’re so afraid of the haters and the criticism that they’re going to receive on that. And as a social activist and someone who’s very politically active yourself, how do you cope with taking a stand on something (especially politics) while not inviting in the criticism and sometimes shame from other people that come with sharing that?
Rha:
Yeah, you can’t control that and it’s interesting because it’s not necessarily about whether or not you share your political views – you can put on a dress and take an Instagram photo and people have a whole lot to say about it, right? So, part of what we have to do as people who are committed to making a difference and committed to bringing light to the world is we have to do that internal fortification work where we’re not so externally focused on everyone else’s opinion and that need for validation. And I know that can be easier said than done because those full-frontal attacks can hurt, right? But you have to be clear about where you’re standing and that that’s a practice for you. So that when you’re raising your voice, you’re raising your voice that’s really in-line with what you believe and not raising your voice because you think you should raise your voice or because somebody called you out and said you should raise your voice and have something to say about this and then you’re up in the mix of something that you don’t even understand, right?
I think this cancel-culture is really profound in the sense of “I don’t ever deem myself as the authority on policing anyone.” I think there are opportunities to engage in conversations where we get to learn and we get to grow, in other words, if actions happen or things get said, but I think social media is not the forum for that. I don’t ever, I’ve never seen anything resolved quite frankly, through social media; so I think, for people who care about the issue and people who want to engage in positive forward discourse about the issue – you can find ways to link up – have dinner, have a phone conversation, you know what I mean, there are other ways to do that. But I think , for this idea of being afraid of being canceled, it’s not anything you can ever control and it can’t be a reason (well, it is, I know for us) but I’m saying to you this is where the call for courage – it can’t be; you can’t give that your power, you know what I mean? In other words, you can’t let that take your voice.
And so, I keep coming back to what’s important to you; what do you really care about; what are you really willing to stand for? So, you’ve got to answer those questions for yourself because that will then help guide the decisions about where you do take a stand and where you may say “You know what – I’m not really clear how I feel about this, so let me not succumb to pressure and jump into something that I don’t feel like I can really stand behind.” If you feel like you can stand behind it, then you stand!
Sahara:
Yes and I think it comes to choosing your battles but also don’t be afraid of the battle. You know, I think a lot of times we think “Well, I’m not a politician so I shouldn’t say something about it” or “I’ll receive it if I post something political – stay out of it.” I don’t follow you for that reason thinking that we’re this one-dimensional person and only have this on area of our lives when politics affects every single person. So I think inviting that, and even if someone doesn’t have the same political views as you that doesn’t mean now you have to unfollow them and cut them out of your life forever. And having that discourse and having it be meaningful, I think that most people are just so isolated from people with different opinions than them that social media is their only place, but the, because there’s no human connection there, it just turns into a bunch of rants without the reading and understanding.
Rha:
Yeah, and we all have to build the capacity to have a real dialogue which is something that unfortunately many of us are sorely lacking because we’re not taught how to really engage in dialogue; how to sit in different perspectives. When we look at the upper Enchilads, the highest leadership of all world, we are not seeing that modeled well – let’s be honest. And so, where do we learn that? How do we build those capacities? How do we build those skills? Sometimes for me, if I’m getting critical feedback, my decision is to listen and not feel like I have to come back – I don’t have to have a comeback. Sometimes, maybe what I need to do is just receive your communication and let you know I’ve received your communication – received! It’s amazing, it takes me two seconds to write received; thank you – done! So also, again, I think this is real growing edge I think Sahara, for a lot of us, in terms of what does it really mean to engage, why are we engaging, what is our ultimate goal, what is our ultimate aim, can it best be achieved through the mediums that we’re operating in, and does it have to be as cut-and-dry as you’re right or I’m wrong, or do we have room and space for multiple perspectives and insights? Really, really important.
Sahara:
Love that so much! Well, you dive into this and so much more in your book “The Calling” so where can listeners get your book and connect with you further?
Rha:
Thank you so much for asking. So, movethecrowd.me/thecalling you can comment; and of course all of the outlets – Amazon, Barnes and Noble at Hudson Books etc. The book is also an audible – shout out to all of you who have been like “I just want to listen to it” like, curl up and just put the headphones in. But you can get them on all of the mega platforms, any major retailers where books are sold. And then if you come into our movethecrowd.me/thecalling or thecallingmovement.com I got all kinds of additional goodies for you and resources that go with the book and it would be my joy to share those with you. So, the URL is also in the book as well as the ones that I’ve just mentioned.
Sahara:
And I will share that link in the show notes. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, you have this Momma-Gaia energy that’s just so soothing but also calls us to action. And I absolutely love it. So thank you so much for being here.
Rha:
Thank you so much Sahara for having me and thank you so much for your work and all of the ways that you’re helping to uplift and elevate and ignite this next generation of light. We need y’all, we need y’all, so thank you.
Sahara:
Thank you.
How good was that episode with Rha Goddess?! I swear I could listen to her wisdom forever. Being around her just feels like such soothing, warm, Kapha, Momma-bear, loving, earthy energy – I’m sure you got those same vibes so I just love talking to her. She also has that Pitta spark, it’s like “Get out there, do good, get paid, stay true to who you are” so I absolutely love her.
So, be sure to check out her new book “The Calling” – I highly recommend it, and if you want more inspiration like this I have experts like Rha Goddess, so many others, guest from The Highest Self Podcast available for you in small group discussions in Rose Gold Goddesses. So, if you’re ready to really step it up in your spiritual practice; you’re ready for support; you’re ready for contact; you’re ready to dive deeper than the surface level but really be part of a community that will take you there especially in this transitional time, then I invite you to join us in Rose Gold Goddesses. You can find that over in my link in my show notes – rosegoldgoddesses.com and I’m so excited to meet you inside.
If you loved this episode, I would love to send you a free gift which is the first half of my unreleased book “Eat Right for Your Mind Body Type“. This is a different book than “Eat Feel Fresh“. My first book ever which is not released anywhere, and I am gifting it exclusively to those who leave a review of my podcast in the iTunes store. So all you’ve got to do is head over to iTunes where you’re maybe listening to this podcast and leave a review, take a screenshot that you’ve left it and email it over to me at [email protected] and I will send you back the first half of my unreleased book “Eat Right for Your Mind Body Type“, which goes all into Ayurveda, Doshas, Plant-Based Nutrition, Body Types – all of the things in a really fun and engaging way. So this is my gift to you for free for supporting the podcast. Every single review I personally read. It really helps the podcast be listened to by more people so we can raise the vibration of the planet together, and I am soul grateful to have you on this journey.
Thank you so much for listening and I’ll see you on the next episode. Namaste.
Episode 288: Honoring the Calling Within Rha Goddess
By Sahara Rose